One problem I have with the concept of “resistance” is that most discussions don’t differentiate between reasons why we may be reluctant to do something. How do you know when “resistance” is an ephemeral fear to be overcome, and when is it your gut telling you something is wrong?
For myself, I have a primarily Somatic validation system. This means, like many women, I use physical sensations in my body to determine whether or not something is true. In contrast, many men have primarily Symbolic validation systems, which require a narrative, formula, or some other representation that “makes sense” in order for it to be accepted as true.
When I feel “stuck,” I’ve noticed three different sensations:
- The first is weight.
It’s a heaviness that saps my energy and drags me down. It seems to be associated with Shoulds and shows up when I’m trying to force myself to do something that isn’t congruent with my path. It’s something I’m not supposed to be doing — at least, not in that moment. - The second is avoidance.
This shows up when an action is in my best interests, but I’ve got a Story that’s making things weird. It’s like two magnets: if I’m going at it the wrong way (usually involving a Should), they slide apart away from each other. However, once I re-align myself with that inspiration, they easily click together. - The third is constriction.
This is the one that was my most recent epiphany. We’ve been told that our subconscious mind wants to hold us back because it’s afraid of what might happen, so we need to consciously push through. However, what if the constriction is NOT my “ego trying to keep me safe”? What if it’s actually a validation that my pot is too small??
It’s like I’m trying to spread my branches, but my roots are all squished and cranky. They want to support me, but they are constricted and begging me to expand so they can spread as well.
I love that idea. After all, when it comes down to it, isn’t anything we “know” about how the mind works just models and conjecture? With that being the case, I love embracing a model that joyfully supports and encourages our continued expansion and evolution.
Where are your roots crunchled* up and begging to be set free so you can thrive?
*I am aware that “crunchled” is not an official word. I like it anyway. 😁