If I’d known back then….

If I’d known back then….

article, Grief, Self-Forgiveness

It’s funny, the unexpected regrets. When Shawn and I were still dating, we were invited to a wedding. He didn’t have a suit that fit him, so since I was making more money than he was, I offered to buy him one. We went to one of those discount suit places. He fell in...
Perspective

Perspective

article, Grief, Releasing judgment

It’s not about denial; it’s about choice of focus. Would I rather my husband still be alive? Of course. 100%. But it could have been so much worse. What if he’d died 5 years ago, when the kids would have been even younger? What if he’d died half an hour earlier, in...
It’s not an “either/or”

It’s not an “either/or”

article, Grief, Love

At Disneyland again with bonus kid, their friend who is visiting for another couple of weeks, and their bio parental. I’m enjoying being A Mom, taking care of logistics, making sure people have fun. Shawn and I had planned to come to Disneyland this month, just...
How I grieve for my dead husband

How I grieve for my dead husband

article, Grief, Love

Last Thursday, my husband of almost a quarter century dropped dead from one of those “widowmaker” heart attacks. It was a shock but could have been so much worse than it was; I may write later about being grateful for small blessings. A lot of people have been...