If I’d known back then….

If I’d known back then….

article, Grief, Self-Forgiveness

It’s funny, the unexpected regrets. When Shawn and I were still dating, we were invited to a wedding. He didn’t have a suit that fit him, so since I was making more money than he was, I offered to buy him one. We went to one of those discount suit places. He fell in...
It’s not an “either/or”

It’s not an “either/or”

article, Grief, Love

At Disneyland again with bonus kid, their friend who is visiting for another couple of weeks, and their bio parental. I’m enjoying being A Mom, taking care of logistics, making sure people have fun. Shawn and I had planned to come to Disneyland this month, just...
How I grieve for my dead husband

How I grieve for my dead husband

article, Grief, Love

Last Thursday, my husband of almost a quarter century dropped dead from one of those “widowmaker” heart attacks. It was a shock but could have been so much worse than it was; I may write later about being grateful for small blessings. A lot of people have been...
Pain sinks deep its claws

Pain sinks deep its claws

article, Grief

CW: Really big emotions, reference to abuse and generational trauma It’s not just the amount of Stuff. It’s not just about missing someone, realizing anew that I won’t be able to see them or pick up the phone to share a funny thing the kids did today. It’s the...